The Elephant in the Institution - Time for a yarn about Masculinity

I have some rare time waiting for my 10-year-old son today, so I got to read; that reading turned into thinking, and here we are with some quick writing. Like much of my writing, this is often the first cut. I'm too time-poor these days to polish too much, so if grammar and formatting are important for you, here is your cue to switch off. But if you like a bit of a yarn, like you were sitting with me at this cafe, then this might be the yarn for you. Time will tell!

The original title for this yarn, I thought, could be 'Why We Need to Talk About Indigenising Masculinities'. This is because we have been doing a lot of thinking, work and reading lately around masculinities at Impact Policy. We have some solid fullas at Impact, some of the best, but listening to national conversations, reading policy positions or providing feedback on communications campaigns has left me feeling at many times frustrated with the discourse that positions masculinity and our existence within it, by definition, as Aboriginal men as problematic.

These are layered thoughts; for me, it is one that fails to recognise our expression of ourselves in connection to one another. That focuses more on individual responsibility for behaviour change than reckoning with the real-time impacts on our families, communities and country as a result of policy, legislation, practice and ongoing genocide.

For years, we have spoken about a crisis in masculinity – this plays out in real time in the rising rates of male suicide, increasing disconnection, social isolation and the pressure of boys and men to perform within a rigid, binary version of what we understand as manhood.

That's why it was great to come across this recent article shared by Jason Prehn, 'Indigenising Masculinities: Relational Renewal in Settler Colonial Society', on new research by Prehn, Prehn, Canuto, Opozda & Smith (2025).

What I enjoy about much of it is the argument that this conversation is much deeper than the broader discourse. And it reinforces something I have been wrestling with for some time, and that is that we cannot understand masculinity in Australia without first understanding colonisation.

The Patriarchy is not just gendered; it's also the impact of our settler colonial history. One that we can't deny is built on whiteness, dispossession, hierarchy and the erasure of Indigenous men and leaders. We see the impact of this play out today. As a flow-on effect of colonisation.

This started with massacres, then it changed to imprisonment, stolen wages, and then to stealing children and putting them on the pipeline to prison; the connotations to Jim Crow in America are clear as day. We see our communities and our families systematically dismantled by the state as a form of control, and what more of a manifestation of this for our men is there than that in the expression of our masculinity?

But for all the effort of the colonial project, what strikes me the most is the remembering that our masculinities as Aboriginal people are not a deficit or a problem to fix. In fact our masculinity is a gift. It is a living, relational, deeply connected and culturally grounded model for healthier manhood that many of us could benefit from more broadly across this country.

That's what I enjoyed about reading through this, and I have tried to pull out a couple of these insights here for you to consider, and of course, if you want more info or research, I suggest reading the article in full. But a few key highlights for me are here:

1. Our masculinity is dynamic, diverse and grounded in our culture. It is shaped by kinship, Country, law/lore, ceremony, responsibility and storytelling. Not dominance, not control.

2. This article introduces the ERASE model as a way to contextualise how settler masculinity harms both us as Aboriginal men and non-Indigenous men too. Colonial masculinity seeks, from what I can understand,

Erase Indigenous Cultural authority

Replace it with white norms

Attacks our men through policing and criminalisation

Surveils our people through institutions

Exploits culture, identity and labour.

Colonial masculinity is structural. It is not merely an attitude or behaviour that needs to change, and it's failing all of us. A month ago I was at a DFV forum at Sydney University made up of organisations and people working within the DFV space; it was called 'Evidence to Action', and much of it was great. But I listened to this communications company talk about this campaign they had developed for young boys around masculinity. The behavioural analysis work they had done and the ambassadors they had engaged to communicate what healthy masculinity looks like.

I could not help but feel the friction about the very fact that we were sitting within Sydney University, where the university as an institution has been an enabler – some would go so far as to say a facilitator – of violence against women. The Change the Course report in 2017 highlighted the epidemic of violence against women on university campuses across the country. In 2023 a Senate enquiry produced a unanimous report for an independent task force, and still today there are moves to set up a national student ombudsman. Many of these institutions have failed to comply with recommendations from Change the Course and reveal data around their response to the report and ongoing reports of violence against women.

So while I'm sitting in this room listening to this TikTok-style campaign of a footy player talking about helping out with the washing at home. And the attempts at combatting 'toxic masculinity'. My real attention is to the elephant in the institution and how some of the oldest colonial worlds (like universities) continue to embody some of the most harmful manifestations of masculinity in the discourse around it today. Colonial masculinity is a structure. It's not an attitude, and it's failing all of us. Despite how many TikToks we make.

I was feeling particularly frustrated by this conversation because by chance the very week before I received an email from the school about my son being involved in an altercation, though acknowledged by the teacher as in response to defending violence against women in the school playground. I have attached the screenshots here for you to see.

We talk about men and boys stepping up in the epidemic of violence against women and not being bystanders. This is what it looks like to raise boys brave enough to confront it and call it out. But this is where the intersection with the system and policy is significant. And where colonial legacy has failed to catch up.

For me as a father, as a man, that was one of the healthiest expressions of my son's masculinity I could have hoped for in that moment. And instead of talking about physical altercations, the school missed the opportunity to talk about something much more significant in the country for boys and men right now.

The article also explored reframing Indigenising masculinity as not only an Indigenous-specific concept but one that could benefit men more broadly. The researchers explore this model of masculinity through the GROW framework. That is Grounded, Relational, Open and Whole.

From what i understand it is a model that values care, accountability, humility, connection, cultural responsibility and balance. I think the only thing for me that might be missing is how we physically express our masculinity as strength. Whether that is through combat, climbing, running, throwing, swimming, etc. – the list could look like many. But personally I believe there is an innate need for physical expression of our masculinity that is unique to many of us – that's what I believe, but that is a personal opinion. And that it doesn't exist within a binary either, and it's important we find where best ours is expressed.

For all our boys, this is a future we can remember; it already existed in our knowledge systems, and we have carried relational manhood for thousands of years.

Why should we be thinking about this from a policy or reform perspective, though?

Our dominant gender norms have been designed through colonisation. And we still try to fit our men into this binary that was never built for us. This research calls that sort of stuff out; inclusion without structural change is just assimilation.

As someone working alongside government systems, designing alongside our communities, this was essential reading. Because the topic of masculinity is becoming a significant driver of policy outcomes, family wellbeing, violence, connection, mental health, and belonging.

Crucially, more than anything, our brothers need "healing”. They need space, resourcing, and recognition to lead cultural reconnection on our terms. I am not making excuses for perpetrators of violence; that is a different conversation. Here I am talking about all our men and boys – our spirit, healing and reconnection.

So my takeaway from this article this weekend while waiting for my son – if this helps with you thinking deeper about this – is that Indigenising masculinity is not just about gender. It's about sovereignty, justice, healing and reimagining the future for young men across this country.

It is about letting go of this colonial legacy and starting to remember we have the oldest living culture here on earth and starting to remember what it actually means to be grounded, relational, accountable and whole.

Authored by Sam Alderton-Johnson for Impact Policy